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Failing forward, defined as teaching people how to learn from their failures and mistakes quickly and effectively, is an important concept for children and adolescents to learn. Failure is not a “bad” moral failing or weakness. Failure is needed to teach people how to adjust and make changes for success.
According to educator Jessica Lehey, “[C]hildren whose parents don’t allow them to fail are less engaged, less enthusiastic about their education, less motivated, and ultimately less successful than children whose parents support their autonomy.”
Participation and performance gymnastics, such as recreational and team gymnastics, teaches children, adolescents, and parents alike the value of failing forward because it gives gymnastic athletes the practice of learning new skills, trying out those new skills in group and competitive events, receiving coach and judges’ feedback, and applying that feedback to daily and weekly practice. Failure in life is natural and gymnastics is one area that athletes and parents can learn how to handle the disappointment of failure and turn it into learning opportunities that teach resilience, determination, autonomy, personal responsibility, motivation, and effort.
For parents who are new to gymnastics or want to get their children or teenagers started with gymnastics, start with the beginning participation class at our gym!
Try This At Home:
Regularly engage in family activities where losing is natural and normalized–playing board games, learning a new skill, trying different sports, etc.–but use the opportunity to teach what family members can learn from losing to apply the next time. Avoid chastising, berating, raising voices, getting frustrated, etc., as children and adolescents will associate losing with anger and disappointment.
When children or teenagers lose, acknowledge their disappointment but shift the conversation to what they did well and what they recognize they need to continue to work on. Allow them to reflect on their experience and articulate what they need to work on.
Use the growth mindset framing to remind all family members that people are naturally skilled in different areas–some people are really good at math while others need a lot more practice; some people are really good at the splits and others need to spend a lot of time stretching to do them; some people are really good at dance and others need to spend a lot of time developing their flexibility and coordination.
Want to Learn More? Read This!
Ryan Babineaux and John Krumboltz’s Fail Fast, Fail Often: How Losing Can Help You Win
Jonathan Horton’s Fall Forward: How an Ordinary Kid Failure His Way to His Olympic Dream
Jessica Lehey’s The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed
Work Cited
Lehey, Jessica. The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed. Harper, 2016 LINK
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